William Shakespeare - The Complete Works

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AS YOU LIKE IT Act 4 Scene 1 (Enter Rosalind as Ganymede, Celia as Aliena, and Jaques) l1l Jaques I prithee, pretty youth, let me be better acquainted l2l with thee. l3l Rosalind They say you are a melancholy fellow. l4l Jaques I am so. I do love it better than laughing. l5l Rosalind Those that are in extremity of either are l6l abominable fellows, and betray themselves to every l7l modern censure worse than drunkards. l8l Jaques Why, Ætis good to be sad and say nothing. l9l Rosalind Why then, Ætis good to be a post. l10l Jaques I have neither the scholarÆs melancholy, which is l11l emulation, nor the musicianÆs, which is fantastical, nor l12l the courtierÆs, which is proud, nor the soldierÆs, which l13l is ambitious, nor the lawyerÆs, which is politic, nor the l14l ladyÆs, which is nice, nor the loverÆs, which is all these; l15l but it is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of l16l many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed l17l the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my l18l often rumination wraps me in a most humorous l19l sadness. l20l Rosalind A traveller! By my faith, you have great reason l21l to be sad. I fear you have sold your own lands to see l22l other menÆs. Then to have seen much and to have l23l nothing is to have rich eyes and poor hands. l24l Jaques Yes, I have gained my experience. (Enter Orlando) l25l Rosalind And your experience makes you sad. I had l26l rather have a fool to make me merry than experience l27l to make me sadùand to travel for it too! l28l Orlando Good day and happiness, dear Rosalind. l29l Jaques Nay then, God bÆ wiÆ you an you talk in blank l30l verse. l31l Rosalind Farewell, Monsieur Traveller. Look you lisp, l32l and wear strange suits; disable all the benefits of your l33l own country; be out of love with your nativity, and l34l almost chide God for making you that countenance l35l you are, or I will scarce think you have swam in a l36l gondola. (Exit Jaques) l37l Why, how now, Orlando? Where have you been all l38l this while? You a lover? An you serve me such another l39l trick, never come in my sight more. l40l Orlando My fair Rosalind, I come within an hour of my l41l promise. l42l Rosalind Break an hourÆs promise in love! He that will l43l divide a minute into a thousand parts and break but a l44l part of the thousand part of a minute in the affairs of l45l love, it may be said of him that Cupid hath clapped l46l him oÆ thÆ shoulder, but IÆll warrant him heartwhole. l47l Orlando Pardon me, dear Rosalind. l48l Rosalind Nay, an you be so tardy, come no more in my l49l sight. I had as lief be wooed of a snail. l50l Orlando Of a snail? l51l Rosalind Ay, of a snail; for though he comes slowly, he l52l carries his house on his headùa better jointure, I think, l53l than you make a woman. Besides, he brings his destiny l54l with him. l55l Orlando WhatÆs that? l56l Rosalind Why, horns, which such as you are fain to be l57l beholden to your wives for. But he comes armed in his l58l fortune, and prevents the slander of his wife. l59l Orlando Virtue is no hornmaker, and my Rosalind is l60l virtuous. l61l Rosalind And I am your Rosalind. l62l Celia It pleases him to call you so; but he hath a Rosalind l63l of a better leer than you. l64l Rosalind Come, woo me, woo me, for now I am in a l65l holiday humour, and like enough to consent. What l66l would you say to me now an I were your very, very l67l Rosalind? l68l Orlando I would kiss before I spoke. l69l Rosalind Nay, you were better speak first, and when you l70l were gravelled for lack of matter you might take l71l occasion to kiss. Very good orators, when they are out, l72l they will spit; and for lovers, lackingùGod warrÆnt l73l usùmatter, the cleanliest shift is to kiss. l74l Orlando How if the kiss be denied? l75l Rosalind Then she puts you to entreaty, and there begins l76l new matter. l77l Orlando Who could be out, being before his beloved l78l mistress? l79l Rosalind Marry, that should you if I were your mistress, l80l or I should think my honesty ranker than my wit. l81l Orlando What, of my suit? l82l Rosalind Not out of your apparel, and yet out of your l83l suit. Am not I your Rosalind? l84l Orlando I take some joy to say you are because I would l85l be talking of her. l86l Rosalind Well, in her person I say I will not have you. l87l Orlando Then in mine own person I die. l88l Rosalind No, faith; die by attorney. The poor world is l89l almost six thousand years old, and in all this time there l90l was not any man died in his own person, videlicet, in l91l a love-cause. Troilus had his brains dashed out with a l92l Grecian club, yet he did what he could to die before, l93l and he is one of the patterns of love. Leander, he would l94l have lived many a fair year though Hero had turned l95l nun if it had not been for a hot midsummer night, for, l96l good youth, he went but forth to wash him in the l97l Hellespont and, being taken with the cramp, was l98l drowned; and the foolish chroniclers of that age found l99l it was Hero of Sestos. But these are all lies. Men have l100l died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, l101l but not for love. l102l Orlando I would not have my right Rosalind of this l103l mind, for I protest her frown might kill me. l104l Rosalind By this hand, it will not kill a fly. But come, l105l now I will be your Rosalind in a more coming-on l106l disposition; and ask me what you will, I will grant it. l107l Orlando Then love me, Rosalind. l108l Rosalind Yes, faith, will I, Fridays and Saturdays and l109l all. l110l Orlando And wilt thou have me? l111l Rosalind Ay, and twenty such. l112l Orlando What sayst thou? l113l Rosalind Are you not good? l114l Orlando I hope so. l115l Rosalind Why then, can one desire too much of a good l116l thing? (To Celia) Come, sister, you shall be the priest l117l and marry us.ùGive me your hand, Orlando.ùWhat l118l do you say, sister? l119l Orlando (to Celia) Pray thee, marry us. l120l Celia I cannot say the words. l121l Rosalind You must begin, ôWill you, Orlandoöù l122l Celia Go to. Will you, Orlando, have to wife this l123l Rosalind? l124l Orlando I will. l125l Rosalind Ay, but when? l126l Orlando Why now, as fast as she can marry us. l127l Rosalind Then you must say, ôI take thee, Rosalind, for l128l wife.ö l129l Orlando I take thee, Rosalind, for wife. l130l Rosalind I might ask you for your commission; but I do l131l take thee, Orlando, for my husband. ThereÆs a girl goes l132l before the priest; and certainly a womanÆs thought l133l runs before her actions. l134l Orlando So do all thoughts; they are winged. l135l Rosalind Now tell me how long you would have her l136l after you have possessed her? l137l Orlando For ever and a day. l138l Rosalind Say a day without the ever. No, no, Orlando; l139l men are April when they woo, December when they l140l wed. Maids are May when they are maids, but the sky l141l changes when they are wives. I will be more jealous l142l of thee than a Barbary cock-pigeon over his hen, more l143l clamorous than a parrot against rain, more new- l144l fangled than an ape, more giddy in my desires than a l145l monkey. I will weep for nothing, like Diana in the l146l fountain, and I will do that when you are disposed to l147l be merry. I will laugh like a hyena, and that when l148l thou art inclined to sleep. l149l Orlando But will my Rosalind do so? l150l Rosalind By my life, she will do as I do. l151l Orlando O, but she is wise. l152l Rosalind Or else she could not have the wit to do this. l153l The wiser, the waywarder. Make the doors upon a l154l womanÆs wit, and it will out at the casement. Shut l155l that, and Ætwill out at the key-hole. Stop that, Ætwill fly l156l with the smoke out at the chimney. l157l Orlando A man that had a wife with such a wit, he l158l might say ôWit, whither wilt?ö l159l Rosalind Nay, you might keep that check for it till you l160l met your wifeÆs wit going to your neighbourÆs bed. l161l Orlando And what wit could wit have to excuse that? l162l Rosalind Marry, to say she came to seek you there. You l163l shall never take her without her answer unless you l164l take her without her tongue. O, that woman that l165l cannot make her fault her husbandÆs occasion, let her l166l never nurse her child herself, for she will breed it like l167l a fool. l168l Orlando For these two hours, Rosalind, I will leave thee. l169l Rosalind Alas, dear love, I cannot lack thee two hours. l170l Orlando I must attend the Duke at dinner. By two oÆclock l171l I will be with thee again. l172l Rosalind Ay, go your ways, go your ways. I knew what l173l you would prove; my friends told me as much, and I l174l thought no less. That flattering tongue of yours won l175l me. ÆTis but one cast away, and so, come, death! Two l176l oÆclock is your hour? l177l Orlando Ay, sweet Rosalind. l178l Rosalind By my troth, and in good earnest, and so God l179l mend me, and by all pretty oaths that are not l180l dangerous, if you break one jot of your promise or l181l come one minute behind your hour, I will think you l182l the most pathetical break-promise, and the most hollow l183l lover, and the most unworthy of her you call Rosalind l184l that may be chosen out of the gross band of the l185l unfaithful. Therefore beware my censure, and keep l186l your promise. l187l Orlando With no less religion than if thou wert indeed l188l my Rosalind. So, adieu. l189l Rosalind Well, Time is the old justice that examines all l190l such offenders; and let Time try. Adieu. (Exit Orlando) l191l Celia You have simply misused our sex in your love- l192l prate. We must have your doublet and hose plucked l193l over your head, and show the world what the bird l194l hath done to her own nest. l195l Rosalind O coz, coz, coz, my pretty little coz, that thou l196l didst know how many fathom deep I am in love. But l197l it cannot be sounded. My affection hath an unknown l198l bottom, like the Bay of Portugal. l199l Celia Or rather bottomless, that as fast as you pour l200l affection in, it runs out. l201l Rosalind No, that same wicked bastard of Venus, that l202l was begot of thought, conceived of spleen, and born of l203l madness, that blind rascally boy that abuses everyoneÆs l204l eyes because his own are out, let him be judge how l205l deep I am in love. IÆll tell thee, Aliena, I cannot be out l206l of the sight of Orlando. IÆll go find a shadow and sigh l207l till he come. l208l Celia And IÆll sleep. (Exeunt)